All I Want For Christmas Is You
by NALEY23alwaysforever
Summary: Jay Halstead is miserable in Chicago, and decides to find the kne who makes him happy. A Christmas inspired one shot based off a Tumblr post i reas :)


**A/N: Hey everyone! Belated Merry Christmas wishes, hope everyone had a wonderful time with friends and family xx**

 **This was originally supposed to be posted on Christmas Day in the US timezone but this little Aussie is tired from work and forgot the time difference and so, now you get a belated Christmas one-shot :P**

 **This one is inspired by bubblesxmorrisxn on twitter whose tumblr post has been floating around my timeline:**

 **"Jay suddenly disappears, everyone's looking for him, but no luck. Then, in the mid-season all of his stuff from the apartment disappears as well. Hailey and everyone else is really worried about him, but later it seems like they totally dropped the storyline. But, at the end of the season, they just show the New York's skyline and then a scene of Jay waking up, with Erin cuddled into him, both being happy as ever (maybe also a kid here or there)".**

 **Enjoy!**

Hank Voight watched from his office as Jay Halstead dragged his feet up the stairs and into the office of the 21st District's Intelligence Unit. He took in the red eyes, messy hair, and unshaved scruff of hair that adorned his face.

Jay Halstead had been a mess for the past six months in which Erin Lindsay had left him. He didn't socialise with his colleagues, or anyone, outside of work hours and his bad mood had only worsened after he had been accused of killing a little girl during a call. He had lost a friend while working undercover; and the guilt of that, along with the continued blame he felt over Terry's death and the multiple men he couldn't save overseas, had been eating at him every day. It had been buried for so long, but without his partner to help him, he couldn't ignore it any longer.

"How are you doing today Halstead?" Voight asked when Jay walked past his office.

He stopped and turned to stand in the doorway of his boss' office "You ask me this every morning Hank."

"And every morning, you give me the same bullshit answer. And I'm at my limit today."

"Whatever." Jay rolled his eyes and continued walking to the locker room.

Kim and Hailey eyed him as he walked in, and he felt his teeth clamping down on his tongue to prevent himself from saying anything he would regret later.

He hated the looks the most; the sadness that he saw on everyone's faces, the way their eyes instantly glistened with pity for him. He didn't need their concern. He didn't deserve it.

 _'I'm the one who walked out on her first. No wonder she didn't question leaving me behind.'_

Hailey looked at Kim, motioning her head to Jay before walking out of the room. Kim sighed and walked over to Jay, sitting down on the bench as he continued to put things in his locker.

"You know, I miss her too." Kim starts softly "We grew really close, she was one of the few people that I could actually call my friend. And then she was gone, without a word. I know it's not the same thi-"

Jay's locker slamming shut startled the both of them, and he turned quickly to look at her "You're right, it's not the same. You weren't her partner. You didn't have her back every day, at work and in life. You weren't hopelessly in love with her for _four years_." He saw Kim flinch as his tone grew harsher, and he took a deep breath "I appreciate where you're coming from Kim, but you can't possibly begin to understand what I'm feeling right now."

"Then tell me, tell someone! Dammit Jay, you have to stop torturing yourself! All anyone wants to do is help you, but you're not making it easy for anyone." Kim exclaimed.

Jay heard movement behind him, and looked over his shoulder to see Antonio standing in the doorway "I'm assuming you've got an opinion on this too?"

Antonio shrugged "This is Kim's thing, I just agreed to back her up if needed."

"Agreed? You've all been planning this, like some intervention?" Jay scoffed "Unbelievable."

"This isn't an intervention Jay; This is your friends, expressing their concern over your behaviour." Kim said calmly.

"You know what Kim, back off! When you broke up with Adam, no one said a word. No one told you off for breaking his heart, or told you that you were wrong for not telling him why, no one judged you. So just leave me alone."

Jay noted the pained look in Kim's eyes before her eyes glazed over "Tell me Jay, what is it going to take? What do you need, to be happy again? Because you're not the man I recognise, and I don't think you're ever going to be until you figure your shit out."

"Kim …" Jay sighed as she walked out of the room "Dammit."

"She's not wrong, you know." Antonio spoke up "You're not the same Jay. We all love you bud, but you need to figure out what you want, before you completely alienate everyone in your life."

~ All I Want For Christmas Is You ~

It was three days later when Voight finally called his cell phone. He hadn't come to work since his talk with Kim and Antonio; no one had heard from him, but Voight had dismissed it as jay being upset with his team for trying to help him.

 _"The number you have called is no longer in service-"_

Voight frowned at the voicemail, checking that he had the correct number before calling again.

 _"The number you have called is no-"_ He slammed the phone down, walking out of his office to talk to Antonio.

"Have you spoken to Halstead?"

Antonio frowned, picking up his desk phone and dialling Jay's number "No, why?"

Voight waited until Antonio put the phone down, having heard the same voicemail "Something's not right."

They drove to his apartment, Antonio using his spare key to open the door. They both stopped short when they entered the empty living room, completely bare of any furniture or the signed album covers that Erin had left behind. Antonio walked further in, checking the bedroom.

"Everything's gone." He yelled out.

"He's gone." Voight said, staring at the detective's badge that had been clipped to Jay Halstead's belt loop for the last five years of his life, now resting on the countertop alongside a photo of the unit.

They had tried to find him for the first six weeks; tracking his credit cards, calling anyone and everyone they could think of to see if maybe he was staying with them. Antonio and Kim listened intently to every report that came in over the radio, just in case something had happened to him.

But, eventually, they all slowly lost hope. And without ever really noticing, they had stopped looking for him. They stopped monitoring his bank accounts. They stopped calling his friends and family.

They accepted the fact that Jay Halstead had gone. They accepted that they may never see him again.

All they could do now was hope that wherever he was, he had found what made him

~ All I Want For Christmas Is You ~

Jay felt the sun streaming down on him through the peep in the curtain. He could feel the heat radiating over her as he tried to move away from its warmth and further into the comfort of his bed.

Only it wasn't his bed. And he wasn't in Chicago.

He smiled when the perfume embedded into the pillow next to him filled his senses. His hand reached over and his smile turned to a frown when he felt the cool sheets beneath him. He opened his eyes slowly, getting out of bed and dragging his feet along the cold hardwood floors of the apartment.

'I told her to invest in carpeting.' He grumbles to himself as the bright green and red lights flash along the skirting of the roof along the hallway; they had agreed that since they couldn't put lights on the outside roof of their high-rise apartment, they would decorate the inside roof.

He spied her at the kitchen stove, flipping a pancake over as she danced in one spot to the song playing from her iPhone. He smiled slyly, walking up behind her quietly and wrapping his arms her waist.

"Mariah Carey?" He chuckles as she turns in his arms.

"Don't mock a classic." She scoffs, pecking his cheek "Merry Christmas baby."

"Merry Christmas Er." Jay smiles, hugging her tighter.

Jay looks over her shoulder, letting out another laugh "Um, babe, I think your pancakes are burning."

She quickly turned around, picking up the pancake and chucking it disappointedly in the bin.

"Dammit, I ruined Christmas!" She exclaimed.

"Babe, it's one pancake. Don't worry about it." Jay said.

"I just wanted to do something to celebrate our six-month anniversary." She pouted.

"Er, we've been dating for two years." Jay says confused.

"But this is our fresh start." Erin pressed "I wanted to do something special for it."

Jay smiled, his hand resting on Erin's cheek "I don't need anything special Erin, I just need you."

 _Erin yawned as she sat down dining room table, opening her microwaved meal. She stared at the empty seat opposite her, imaging him sitting there, lecturing her about how those frozen meals had no vitamins or nutrients in them whatsoever._

 _The knocking on the door interrupted her thoughts, and she frowned as she looked at the clock on her wall. Who the hell was up at 3:00 am? She opened the door, her tired eyes widening in shock._

 _"Jay? What are you doing here?_

 _"I don't really know … Actually, that's a lie. I know what I want." Jay says pacing in front of her "Kim asked me what will make me happy. And all I could think of was you."_

 _"Jay … You have a life in Chicago. You can't just give all that up for me."_

 _"It's not for me, it's for us. I have so many good things in my life, but it doesn't mean anything without you."_

 _"Jay..."_

 _"Erin, we were building a life together. And I still want that, if you want it too. I want to make a home with you, and marry you, and have kids with you. I want it all with you, it doesn't mean anything without you._ _love you, Erin."_

 _"I love you too Jay, but you need-"_

 _She was cut off when his lips crashed against hers "I don't need anything else Erin, I just need you."_

"Well, I do have one more surprise for you." Erin smiles cheekily before heading into the living room, pulling Jay's hand so he'll follow behind her.

"Should I be worried?" Jay laughs as she stops in front of the Christmas tree, rummaging around for the gift that she wanted.

"Depends on what your reaction will be." She says nervously, placing the gift in his hands.

Jay eyed the blue box suspiciously, slowly undoing the ribbon and opening the box. His smile grew wide, tears filling his eyes.

"Is this real?" He whispered softly.

Erin shook her head, already crying "I found out last week. I figured it was the perfect Christmas gift."

Jay smiled wider, looking down at the pregnancy test that lay in a small plastic box with a sonogram tucked underneath, the '6 weeks old' inscription in Erin's handwriting in the left hand corner.

"Merry Christmas … Daddy." Erin smirked wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

"Merry Christmas Mama." Jay said, his hands resting atop her stomach "I love you so much. Thank you for making me a Dad."

"I love you too. Thank you for finding me."

"Always."

 **A/N: So, as you can tell I added on a little after the whole 'Jay wakes up to the New York skyline' part of the post to accommodate a Linstead baby – because, how could you not put in a Linstead baby ;)**

 **Hope you guys liked this little piece, please leave a review and let me know what you thought!**

 **\- Maddie :)**


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